The stupid shit that happens

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Scratch Fiction Tag: Who you calling a mud flap?!

“I’ll tell you a little secret,” she said while exhaling a long drag off her Virginia Slim Ultra Light. Her voice had gotten deeper over the years. I looked on anxious, yet with hesitation.

“You see, I really wanted to be one of those Hula girls.” She laughed, blowing smoke in my direction and looking away. “You know, dancing on the dash, looking them in the eye, gliding along on the open road. I loved wiggling my hips and swaying back and forth in sync with the bumps and swerves in the road, all the time playing my Ukulele. I bet you didn’t know I was musically inclined." She paused here for just a few seconds.
"Anyway, it just seemed so… so exotic, ya know?"

“But then one day someone told me I looked like Anne Margaret. The thin waist, large breasts, long flowing hair. And my profile. There was just something about my god damned profile, he told me. And, well, I suppose I believed him.
“Just sit here, like this for a minute. Just one minute, won’t ya darling? And take off that ungodly grass skirt.”

“Ann Margaret, I thought to myself. Huh. Well, I suppose I could think of worse comparisons. So, I downed my PBR, dropped the skirt, lei and the only instrument I ever learned and took my place on the black rubber. I arched my back, pushed out my breasts as far as they would go and never looked back. Or forward for that matter.”

"Did I settle? some have asked over the years. I don't know. But there is one thing I do know for sure... Yosemite Sam's got nothin' on me."

She laughed her smokers laught after that, and lit another Slim.

10 Comments:

Blogger monkey 0 said...

hah!

that's three stories in one day.

I like how you picked up the threads in my bit and ran with them. you have found the voice of the mud flap girl, and hell yeah, she's a smoker...

11:02 PM  
Blogger monkey 0 said...

and yes, most definitely, Yosemite Sam has nothing on her.

11:04 PM  
Blogger Ticharu said...

I went through a 'slim' phase when I was pretty

4:45 AM  
Blogger mysfit said...

DEEM!

it's lovely, so visual, i can see her talking and half motioning with her old body the way it used to, the way it did back then...

7:32 AM  
Blogger DeeM said...

MO, Heh heh, this one was particularly enjoyable. Do you not see the Ann Margaret resemblence? Maybe it was the cognac.

Ticharu, you're still pretty.

MYSFIT!
that new pic is freaking me out! I just kind of imagined her, you know, sitting in her trailor at the kitchen pull out table giving an interview to the local press. haha.

Be sure and click on Monkey O's scratch link all, some great stuffs over there. (all 3 of you who come here) ;)

10:54 AM  
Blogger Rex Venom said...

These wonderfully mad and flowing bits sure can pull a reader in. I am sitting here actually feeling a bit sorry for the chick that didn’t get to wiggle her hips on my dash.
Wow.
Rock on!

8:47 PM  
Blogger Chemical Billy said...

She missed her calling, I can hear it in her voice. The hula girls today just don't measure up.

6:01 PM  
Blogger DeeM said...

Rex, I just love the word wiggle.

Ain't that the truth, Billy. And she was quite good with the Ukelele.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Ticharu said...

oh the snows of December...

2:53 AM  
Blogger Jaxe said...

"So, I downed my PBR, dropped the skirt, lei and the only instrument I ever learned and took my place on the black rubber"

pure genius again flowing freely! it has such a timeless noir feel. awesome imagery DeeMer!!! Virginia Slim Ultra Lights and PBR? I think I saw her in our last gig crowd!

j

1:52 PM  

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