The stupid shit that happens

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Tripped up

At first they wanted me to feel how they saw themselves. So a smaller radiator floated before me, waiting. My living room was coming alive. I put my hand through. It felt like air, only creamy. I ran my hand over the top stroking the floating miniature sized radiator's ridges. Something distracted me and poof, it was gone. But the golden velvety couch with pillows that I never sat on were calling out. The pillows were breathing almost, pulling me. I slowly lied down, starting at the end crawling towards the top and gracefully taking comfort in the couch taking me, surrounding my body. The burgandy pillow shifted fluidly, creating a face. The white pillows moved in unison like waves as much as they could. I lie there for a spell feeling the pillows welcoming me, allowing me to relax. I let my body go limp in their arms, the burgandy pillow and I talked some. It listened to my story as I cried it out. But then the couch, the radiator, and the pillows went dead on me. No more response, no comfort. I begged for the radiator to float before me one more time. Saddened and crying i went to the bathoom to look in the mirror. Please, i begged, find somthing beautiful in the there. You have to. Crying harder and longer, pleading more desperately I think, you HAVE to find something, just one thing you see looking back that is beautiful. I could not. My eyes are drawn, my nose is swollen, lips small, there is nothing naturally beautiful about this face. Cry cry try cry cry. Go back to the couch and see if they will come to life again. One last time. Help me float into fantasy. I will wait.